Tastefully Offensive: Shakespeare Insult Kit

Oct 19, 2011

Shakespeare Insult Kit

361 comments:

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ouch said...

was his name Jerry Sandusky per chance? 

too soon?

DrOMFG said...

Me... Too! ~conform like a boss~

magic-man said...

+12 atk

Swinfard24 said...

cute, but all the comments are completely pointless and retarded

K K said...

You forgot "parrot-teacher" in column three, from Much ado about Nothing.

Rudy said...

One of my favorite lines was from Volpone: "Forbear, foul ravisher, libidinous swine!"

Jules. said...

My english teacher did the same thing lol.

Badgerschoch1223 said...

venom toad=spotted cunt

supergirl9909 said...

me too!

James Theobald said...

Holiest of fucks, THOU ART right!

TheThunder said...

genius

Jstr720 said...

I brought this bar graph showing how many vitamins I get from cocaine.

Gmsarver said...

My English teacher is my brother

Connorjackson said...

ME TO

Guesty McGuestpants said...

You best start belivin' in cool stories bro, YER IN ONE

CuriousPanda said...

Still, if he was alive today he'd probably just call them a cunt and be done with it.

Prue D Stimpson said...

Mine didn't. jk lol she did

Katie Goforth said...

LOLOLOLOL

Thelaughroom said...

i read every comment, cuz theyre too funny

nightrose0087 said...

thou lumpish hedge-born joithead!
thou yeasty fat kidneyed maggot pie!

Mr. Safety said...

Because they don't dance, and if they don't dance they're no friends of his.

Papaya said...

Hahahahha, I've never seen a page with so many epic comments!
But all of you shall die during next week. 

Eater1214 said...

thou frothy onion-eyed nut-hook

Michael Shepherd said...

O.K. Now how do I commit it to memory so that I can use it frequently?

Bambi507 said...

Glenn Close BOILED MY BUNNY!!!! :'(

Ash22 said...

MINE TOO

Halfretard said...

The most entertaining thread I should have never wasted my time reading

Jack Kolinski said...

Awesome! Now I can finally write that bestseller I keep putting off.

Kenshinuyasha said...

My Teacher did the same thing.

Al Gorjus said...

Boobs. lol gotta love em.

Penny said...

Mine Too!

PittVictim said...

Sandusky touched me

Meh Tu said...

MEEEEEEEEE TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jeeemeister said...

Remember the old sing-song: 

"Sticks and stones can break my bones..."
....But words can never hurt me."

J.

Jeeemeister said...

Hummmm....

Okay, I get it. 

BUT! 

Aren't you forgetting something?

Why is it NOBODY mentioned, "art?"

ART! 

AAAAAA    RRRRRRR    TTTTTTTTT!!!!!!


"COMBINE ONE WORD FROM EACH OF THE THREE COLUMNS BELOW, PREFACED WITH "THOU":

Using the proper grammar in the English language and following the instructions specified, to say something like, "Thou puking, toad-spotted, maggot-pie..." doesn't make a whole lot of sense without using the verb "to be," in archaic terms...instead of "are (in the plural form)" we use....

"Art."

"Thou art a puking, toad-spotted, maggot-pie!"

Now, doesn't that sound so much better?" 

I can't believe nobody picked up on that!  Come on grammar queens!

-Jeeem-
(ESL teacher supreme in Southeast Asia)

"Thou art a durian-smelling, rubber-tree rendering, sodomite!"

-Jeeem-

Hotchocolate4Sunshine said...

haha this is pretty cool

Richard Teasta said...

wow what a funny list. I remember my brother calling me a maggot-pie once and my mom getting really upset. I had no idea that my brother read Shakespeare

Josie Irayna Gregg said...

so did my teacher

Jenniferpostle said...

Starting this again because it was FREAKING EPIC!!! BUT MEEEE TOOOO!!!!!

Enter A Vaild Email To Comment said...

You are all a bunch of idiots. 

winniepooh said...

I enjoy long vertical strings of text.

Mdm518 said...

one-time-i-was-like-walking-to-school-because-you-know-----i-have-to-go-to-school-So-im-like-walking-down-the-sidewalk-and-uh-i-usually-walk-on-this-side-of-the-street-but-there-was-a-dead-bird-on-it-so-i-moved-to-the-other-side-----ok?

Fghjk said...

http://theglobalreality.net/media/gr-12-7-11.mp3

PatriciaMaccJohn said...

Thou dismal-dreaming! Thou yeasty! Thou strumpet!

Dafe said...

my teacher

JaceHole said...

hehehlemoyenausiiiiiiilolageintherhjkfdfkdsjksafdlskjlkasdjflkadsjfkhjdsakljhghjkjhfjdlkasjdlkasjdlkasjdlkasjdlkasjdlkasjdlkasjdlkasdjlkasdjlkasdjlkasdjlkasjdlkasjdkalsjdlaksdjalksdjlaksdjlkasdjlkasjdlaksdjlkasjdlaksjdlaksdjlaksdjlaksjdalksjdlkasjdlkajsdlkjasd

Colin said...

yeasty! 

googlesalot said...

what is it with english teachers and there fetishes???

you will never know who i am! said...

duudes maybe you all had the same teacher... MIND FUCK. 

A guy said...

love it when they go to every effort to keep you from copying something. Why not just leave it unprotected? If I want it, I'm gonna get it anyway.

Vagina Warrior said...

We are all actually the same person.

guest said...

omg i just got it today in English then i stumble upon it!!!!!!

Donne Milano said...

Great Article. Thank you.

Maddy said...

thou yeasty swag-bellied maggot-pie

Guestitityguestguest said...

My teacher too,
but we had sword fights, it was epic.

Arials92 said...

Mine too. O.o

Leaf_bigfan said...

MINE TOO!

Sean said...

no really... mine did too

JubiKaL said...

i wrote a program in Python that constructed an insult randomly

Jordon said...

And mine! It was fun!

Littlepainproductions said...

Two from the top and any three from the bottom please Bill.

Dbakeca Italia said...

Amazing! hehehehe...

Bobington Blob the third said...

I wish my teacher was that cool ... :/

Jeb Stewart Harrison said...

All my teachers are dead. Damn is it still cool to hang with you guys?

Courtneygray27 said...

I wonder if Seth Macfarlane uses this to come up with some of Stewie's lines...

troll said...

are you sure you're not all classmates?!

duvignow said...

MIIIINE TOOOO

Carlos Duvignau said...

MY TEACHER RULES!

Laurieslittles said...

Always take in what you read, think, comment on your gut feelings....and wait for the recromand.

Lili Mac said...

AMAZING

sharky said...

my English teacher gave this to us and made us scream insults at his ass.

Spartacus said...

IM SPARTACUS!

Charles The Mule said...

I almost didn't scroll down far enough to read the comments... that would have been tragic... my condolences go out to the others who looked at the list and didn't read the comments

fordguy said...

i like stick and stones my break my bones but whips and chains excite me

Shakenspear said...

where is "Zed"? and for that matter "whoreson"?

Jordan said...

ME TOO!

PimpBuzz said...

that is real word! http://justgotpics.com

bawl bag said...

fucking awsome

Rose said...

Yep, mine too.

Epsilos said...

What the hell is up with this comment section?
... My teacher made me do the same thing too :P

ashruss said...

dude, mine too. wut?

Aw said...

awdawdawd

Metoo said...

Me too

TataMall said...

Very useful

SxY EngLiSh TeAcHeR said...

AND ILL DO IT AGAIN HOTTIEE

Kristen95864@gmail.com said...

Teacher had it too...must be required everywhere.

Bill said...

OMG! HOW DO THEY WORK?!

Skjgbhgskjbn said...

MINE TOOO!

FromStumbleUpon said...

Does anyone else think the comments are funnier than the post? lol Quote, "
JesusMy English teacher touched meLikeReply
2 months agoin reply to Tyler302 LikesSxY EngLiSh TeAcHeRCollapseAND ILL DO IT AGAIN HOTTIEELike
Reply
" LMFAO! 

meow said...

Our teachers are cheats! ahahah

Blake Oost said...

Thou artless ill-nurtured vassal

Guest said...

i had to do this in english class in high school

128hill Sarah128 said...

me too! :D

guest said...

our teacher gave us a list like this, pick out an insult and memorize it, then insult everyone in the classroom with it including him. Best. Class. EVER.

Suejblack said...

somehow these are so much more satisfying than simply calling someone a blinking idiot!

Pbj said...

Fus Ron fuck!

Jackie Ciocchetti said...

omg did you have Mr. Rank?

Lol said...

Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool what a shity website !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katie said...

mine too!

Danker Ba said...

my teacher didnt he was to busy teaching to waste my time with this stupid shit   i hate you all

usman said...

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http://ukbuzz.net/?p=376 

Mickey C Rocks!!!!!! said...

WOW you guys all sounds like idiots,,,,, i bet almost every english teacher has done this for the shakespeare unit

Kevinthecompguy said...

WTF

RHCP said...

do did mine!

Jnelson said...

Nice list.  As a birder I have to opt for "loggerheaded, plume-plucked wagtail."

Beautiful Disaster said...

...get a life

Tcems545 said...

I went to Catholic school.  The good sisters taught actual Shakespeare.  I did get sent to the office once for giving "cement" as a response when asked for an example of a concrete noun!

Lance Holtman said...

I'm sure they're all the same person.

Albert Einstein said...

holy shit fuck shakespeare explosion outta my pants!

Blobbymct said...

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Blooblymct said...

itsmeagain

LAMPSHADETHEORY said...

I HAVE ILLEGAL SEX WITH MINORS

ILLEGALSEXGUY said...

I HAVE ILLEGAL SEX WITH MINORS

ILLEGALSEXGUY said...

I HAVE ILLEGAL SEX WITH MINORS

ILLEGALSEXGUY said...

I HAVE ILLEGAL SEX WITH MINORS

Mghann13 said...

Mine toooo

bronco said...

me tooooo!!!!

BellaRoe said...

We did this at an Honors Retreat at our university! We yelled at each other and then had foam sword fights! :D Because that's what smart people do. 

hannah said...

oh my god will every commenter on here marry me?

Paul Spivack said...

Don't you just love "words"?

Damon said...

Mine too... :)

Gingerfightback said...

Cool!

Jwalls19 said...

guys, thats not funny, my pronciple raped my teacher, plus u can tell its fake coz of all the pixels

Carolinetinan said...

Hmm interesting list of Vocabs!!!

Susan Deborah said...

If I insult like this, many will not even understand :)

Poledius said...

me too

Tjhersh420 said...

I liked this because of the comments, not the actual shakespeare insult kit.

Kenneth Gregory Prud'homme said...

I love the sense of Humouristic Timeline...

Jake277 said...

Oh no.

Mridula Sinha said...

http://www.indiaonrent.com/view/d/dont-trust-internet-for-everything.html...funny :)

Mridula said...

http://www.indiaonrent.com/view/s/super-dedication.html

Baby_kisses32 said...

i absolutely don't know any of these people and my teacher did this too.

Taavi Wickman Ratthe said...

haha, time to insult people without them knowing how to reply

SHERINe- said...

That is really interesting!!!!

cha888 said...

That is really interesting!!!

uwishuwereme said...

haha im just randomly commenting

Maaaa said...

lol

Sunnypeters13 said...

Your comments turn me on.

MensConfidence said...

Priceless lol.

Kornika said...

This is fun

Nick Alexander said...

i want to be far out too!!! but anyways.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blah said...

Clotpole? Ohhh, Merlin.

Dee2wice said...

such WIN!!!

Red_dragon124 said...

stop fucking cussing you shitty fuck cunts!

lolnegro said...

waenlfjhbLJgnlajngkajg

Kuhwahh said...

Mine too!!!

Kuhwahh said...

MINE TOO!!!

Insane-Membrane said...

Thou art  all idiots but   terribly  funny  ones

Lucb1e said...

This really goes too far  :P

Jvncnrd said...

dudes.... i believe the comments were better than the picture..... 

Kari Kaarna said...

Aww this is tasssty!

obey-hellokitty said...

i read all of these comments (which i rarely read anything) and could not believe how much this all sounds like a two person phone conversation with altered personalitys :] i love it!

kadal mesir said...

thanks for sharing... http://kadalmesir.blogspot.com/2012/08/sepeda-motor-bebek-injeksi-kencang-dan.html

koby102893 said...

UTTER NUTS!!!!!!!... The words I just yelled are completely unassociated with this convo. I just wanted to comment =D

antimage said...

Thou mangled earth-vexing ratsbane

Ali Munandar said...

I'm planning to start my own blog soon but I'm having a tough time deciding ocimblog

Chachachachacha said...

Me too

peanuts said...

I died.

Incontri Italia said...

I know a person like

Incontri Italia said...

hoooooo stop

Incontri Italia said...

hi spam ;)

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