Tastefully Offensive: Shakespeare Insult Kit

Oct 19, 2011

Shakespeare Insult Kit

359 comments:

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Crypto136 said...

I Like It!

Em said...

Thou infectious flap-mouthed foot-licker.

joanne casey said...

Can I be the artless fat-kidneyed pigeon-egg? Thanks :-)

Ghb said...

thou yeasty rump-fed canker blossom

guest305 said...

thou puny motley-minded lout. >:)

Zz said...

thou spleeny onion-eyed foot-licker!

Safura said...

Thou lumpish idle-headed pignut. =p

Suzanne said...

Great list, Jason.  And not a single F-word in it.  Just goes to show what can be done with a decent vocabulary and a bit of imagination!

Butterieflie said...

I must memorize!

RaulD said...

125,000 possible combinations. How do you choose just one thou puny bat fowling codpiece?

Auntierach86 said...

My ninth-grade English teacher handed out this sheet during our Shakespeare unit!  I'm pretty sure I still have it somewhere...

Avinash Arora said...

this is brilliant.

Pino said...

Thou frothy pox-marked codpiece is then basically a used std-ridden condom?

Aaa said...

yes it's fucking great how effective yet correct these insult can be.

Dayinthelife93 said...

u dankish dizzy eyed dewberry!

red_dragon132 said...

is this In place of The Fuck word.

red_dragon132 said...

Hay don't fucking Cuss.

Drale said...

In 7th grade, I remember we had to do this while learning about Shakespeare. It was fun.

Buck said...

Weird just plumb weird, the English language gets weirder everyday

Buck said...

Weird just plumb weird

Hellheavenz said...

HEY ! you two ! stop fucking cussing already !

Revbikerdave said...

If you are going to be rude, at least be rude with style!

Firstfuerst said...

Thou beslubbering, knotty patted, flap-dragon!

Steve! said...

there are tons of f-words in this list

fawning, fobbing, froward, frothy, fat-kidneyed, fen-sucked, flap-mouthed, fly-bitten, folly-fallen, fool-born, full-gorged, flap-dragon, flax-wench, flirt-gill, foot-licker, and fustilarian.

Willgame_4food1313 said...

Cut that fucking shit out guys. It's crap like that that makes us all look like dumb asses

thescienceguy said...

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Phil E. Drifter said...

You weedy unchin-snouted whey-face!

anonymize said...

clearly this stopped being funny a few comments back. or are you retarded?

msChavez said...

It's still fucking funny

Rabidwalrus said...

I fuckin love ice cream!

Donne L'Aquila said...

Great combinations...I like this post!

Timsteinman said...

I fucking love cocaine (rawr, says the bear)!

Dmc93x said...

I'm sure some of these words weren't exactly socially acceptable in his time... Every culture has words that are socially taboo, the thing is, they are just words.  Think outside the box, being politically correct is overrated. 

Tonyfruth1 said...

My name is ron and "I" like to party

Sheepskin slippers said...

Love it, i know someone so posh that they say half of the stuff in that list!

Mmoyer92 said...

Shut you mouth you Paunchy Harpy

Soccer1029 said...

C-c-c-c-c-combo Breaker

Robert Waddell said...

Wow, it's like me talking to a teabagger!

Drinkingfood said...

Fuckin' Combo Breakers, how do those work?

Lopezdiva21 said...

thats fuckin classic

Nettles said...

Thou impertinent fool-born miscreant. (I remember this from 9th Grade Language Arts).

Staceyesq55 said...

This is priceless!!

ButtMan said...

I like girls you can fuck in the ass and then are willing to suck your dick after.

Dave said...

Wow. Just wow.

... said...

Are you guys like 8?

Ecks said...

Magnets?

Emma Pinksugar said...

Guys, i know this has been fun and all, but you know what, i was gonna end this with something clever, and i really cant think of anything, so... riddle me this. tree+window=facebook

Susanshebert said...

Thou paunchy, fly-bitten foot-licker.  

Oswald Cobblepot said...

It looks pretty if you scroll fast.

Jim said...

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/ is better. ;)

Someone said...

fffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Susan Clemens said...

I must investigate some of these words! :)

Claire said...

I'm taking that to work with me, come in handy at the Monday morning meeting.

Irish Daigle said...

It's not posh; it's pretension.

Irish Daigle said...

Or is it rather that we just remember the weirdness from hundreds of years ago?

Dvdbolich said...

When the fuck did we get Ice Cream?

Big E said...

Thou puking ill nurtured foot licker

Big E said...

fucking A...no fucking swearing!!!

Asdf said...

lol COMBO BEAKER 

lucb1e said...

lol

Butts said...

halp

Chazz_waller said...

i dont do cokaine, i just like the smell of it

Jokerjordan2000 said...

It's a combo of science. The combo beaker.

C Guest43 said...

Let's see how fucking small we can make this

Victoria said...

Its...alright...

Michael Klusek said...

way better than pirate talk.

Profcrandall (Jerry) said...

Marvelous!  Thanks for the 'reminder'  Of course, IT WORKS FOR ME!!!

Verity said...

Our English teacher gave this to us once and made us all just shout at eachother using it. 

Jonathan said...

I fucking like turtles!

Rothman93 said...

it sounds like the dialog from "A Clockwork Orange"

Whatthefuck said...

dude, my teacher did the same thing :O

Progressive Republican said...

Beyond merely "cool"...

Nishant said...

dude that was a fake language called NADSAT! this is old English! come on!

Mike Calvanese said...

Hahahaha

Timothy Studer said...

And mine too!

Kelly Coyy said...

And mine!

The Sanity Inspector said...

I like one that's not on this list:  "Shog off!"

Gsyth34 said...

and mine

Teddy ber said...

Love it!!

Jonathan Gunson said...

Prithee... surely thou woud'st follow me on my beslubbering, batfowling varlet Twitter account. I carry fine author news and tips for thee.  Http://Twitter.com/JonathanGunson

Dislexicon57 said...

It's modern English you insipid twat. Olde English, besides being a fine malted beverage, is Anglo-Saxon, and not really recognizable as English.

And Mine! said...

And mine!

YARRRRREEEEEEEEEE BUDDY said...

FUCKING FUCK!

sauerkraut said...

Thou ruttish dog-eared maggot-pie

sauerkraut said...

oh bullocks to that.

Dillon Hendrickson said...

NERDFIGHTERS!

Tyler said...

And mine!

Jesus said...

My English teacher touched me

James said...

dude, my teacher did the same thing :O

Ryanus118 said...

shit mine too

Nishant said...

my apologies, paunchy fool-born miscreant. I didnt know people still conversed in this manner.

Ty said...

Ow wow all four of my english teachers did

1+1=raped said...

my maths teacher touched me.

Lifen Zhu said...

Insert the Rosetta Stone disk into your CD or DVD drive and wait for the
autorun program to start. Click "Uninstall Rosetta Stone." Confirm the
request, http://www.ofrosettastone.com/ and it will uninstall automatically.

Kevganz said...

Me to

Bruno.MFan said...

and mine

You know.....'That Guy' said...

i touched my english teacher...

Dcace94 said...

oh shit same here.

Dnms38 said...

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SeaBassTian said...

this is amazing

mememomo said...

ima pocknock you  all in th head! muuuaahahahhahahhza!

Jacob Butler said...

me too

aletil said...

MINE TOO!! AINT ALL TEACHERS THE SAME NIGGA?
 

Silvergirl_2783 said...

Thou frothy elf-skinned foot-licker!

Anonymous said...

<3 this. Just you wait, potential offenders! Nothing will prepare you for the insults I will be tossing your way ;) SHAKESPEARE STYLEE! :P

Janice Doelle said...

This is too funny.  Telling someone off with class (?)

Zippythezigzag said...

i like cheese

Zippythezigzag said...

Holy fuck you are right!!

Zippythezigzag said...

no im 3 you stupid fucking nazi...and hey you guys better give me some ice cream too or ill post nude pics of your mom.

not mine! said...

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                       -Not you :)

TRON said...

me too

Marion said...

So do I!!

Dutchie727 said...

just finished an assignment using this same exact list and then came across it on stumbleupon.com. lol

MasterJAB said...

That's what SHE said!

Gamergirlz said...

And me.

some spicy mexican said...

Que?

Jones said...

C-C-C-CONDOM BREAKER!!! 

Oliver Carmine said...

Killer Instinct all the way!!!!

Info said...

And mine! thats how I was made

Punyill-nuturedlewdster said...

Harry Potter's Dis-List.

Wshk said...

I am an English teacherin Korea. I should print out and let my students shout out English insults. Or I keep this secret and use them?

Anal _ said...

The comments were more amusing than the insult kit itself. 

Fuck dude. said...

Fuck dude.

Ana said...

ME TOO!

RollDdice said...

Mine too, but she was a yeasty weather-bitten whey-face.

Aprettygoodname said...

I want to see what happens when I post this.

Antones79 said...

dude fuck

Daithi said...

You missed out "abortive rooting hog"  from Dick the sh*t.

Littlesteve001 said...

I know for a fact you don't party!

Me Too! said...

My rabbit died by killer instinct...

Me Too! said...

Me toooooooo...

Me Too said...

Are you? And I prefer the term "mentally disabled." Words can hurt, man...
This is still funny. You just lost your sense of humor when all of your "friends" left you...
 :D

Me Too! said...

RONNY THE BEAR!!!!

Jenng15 said...

dude, i gt a srirt that says it, i wear it all the time or i jus wip it out at the right moment hahaha

Xxchristynexx said...

This is funny xD

yeaverily said...

and my ax!

Bluebird said...

Same here. we had to get into to lines lol

Rayice said...

god I'm lucky to go to a german school :D

Christian said...

i like turtles

Stewie said...

Why you tottering fen-sucked dewberry, I'm going to find something to strike you with.

Anderson Jennaleigh said...

Mine did too! haha 

Mrmr said...

i wish my english teacher did that..

Ita_chi said...

I'm an English teacher I gave this to my students once.

Edwardgangi said...

Very funny....And I'm a teacher!

Jose Roberto said...

They forgot to include our familiar "whoreson" (Line 1210, Henry IV, part one)

Nooope said...

my english teacher gave us this list and we wrote insult letters to the other english letters.. we were the capulets.

Nooope said...

i mean english classes.

Joey said...

me too!

Moviebox-forums said...

What a piece of BS ? 

cbaz17 said...

I dont get it

dankish said...

mine did the same exact thing. twats.

hehe said...

i know this is going to seem rediculous but me too

Lilemu2 said...

I was reading through the list, and laughed to myself... then i scrolled down, and read every single comment on here. Best thing ever. Things like this make me hate people a little less.

Lashonne said...

me too!

Duane Christensen said...

Thou pribbling, swag-bellied maggot-pie!

Ccd said...

o m f g ME TOO

yoetama said...

mee too, thx

Milliondollarmistake said...

Jesus christ me too!

Luxmi0 said...

Solid food for the brain....

seewhatIdidthere said...

But it's ok, he can leave them behind.

Myinnernerd said...

Some of the mixtures of words kinda sound like Harry Potter spells.. O_O

Heropenisxxx said...

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Heropenisxxx said...

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10cjed said...

And thine alsoith.

Claire Wood said...

yeasty rump-fead canker-blossom!

MCRoche1021 said...

mie didnt :(

Tyler Page said...

The next time I get in a fight with someone, I'm just gonna say this and see how they react O_o
www.idistract.com

javier loera said...

Very interesting, my English teacher was not into Shakespeare, thank GOD, I'll take Dickens' novels over the Bard's anytime.

Jarrett7799 said...

i had this sheet in my english class haha

Aacabaxi said...

First time I see this

Her-mi-one said...

history teacher  gave this to us in 7th grade and let us just scream it at each other the entire class

Josh said...

What the fuck?

guest said...

omg mine too!

creepy said...

omg  saaaaaaaaame!

Zombie Overlord said...

wouldnt that be thou?

Nevdeb2 said...

Hey these might be some new comments that can be added to report cards comment section!

Bijou123 said...

Housewife isn't on there. That means whore, I learned that in English Lit.

Rzino said...

me too

RMax304823 said...

Love it.  Great for movie reviews!

Hood3243 said...

omg me too!

Racechickjr03 said...

OMD no way. My English IV teacher gave us this same list on Thursday cuz we're reading Hamlet && Macbeth lol wat r the odds lol

Kunal_35 said...

it feels like i have to write "me too" right now :S

Lauren Grace said...

So did mine my freshman year. Then she had pairs of us go up front and we had competition to see who made the best insults and who could shout them better; my boyfriend and i were the winnig pair :P

Arkadia said...

haha my teacher did too

Smity1131 said...

wow we had got one to and we had to use it for like a month adn we got bonus points if we called him one in the hall

EOTO said...

COOL story bro.. Tell it again. 

Candy Hutton said...

I'm a high school english teacher and this is a great tool to use in a class where swearing is not only a nasty habit but a hinderer of english language. I am totally sold!

dcmldcml said...

same here, for "Shakespear Day"!

Harry steinharter said...

I'm awesome and available and 10

Naomi Anselmo said...

This is the best thing ever!

Ecatarina Grant said...

lol love this

Jkrlaughs said...

thou vain folly-fallen nut-hook

LandSharkTory said...

Hehehehe I love it!!!

Bch9999 said...

Speaking of, I like the classic "atrabilious bindlestiff" (grumpy hobo) and "lollygagging dandyprat" (lazy, over-dressed man)

Ldm46 said...

This is the best!!!!!

COMEATMEBRO said...

my english teacher did this for us...
she also made up a script which involved a boy yelling 'you three inch fool' at another guy. 
there were about 10 people in my class that didnt get it. 
she had to explain the insult. 

ASDFMovie said...

I like trains.

flajargan said...

me too, in accordance with prophecy

Jackie Nickel said...

saucy dizzy-eyed canker-blossom

Jjik said...

???

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