Mawwige is whut bwings us togevveh today. – The Princess Bride
Ahh, yes, marriage. If you’re reading this list of quality marital memes, chances are you’re a part of one. Or about to be a part of one.
If it’s the former, take the next 6-9 minutes to take in all of the brutally honest, but nevertheless, hilarious memes about marriage ever meme’d. If the latter, take the next 6-9 minutes to get a preview of what you’re in for.
Without further I do (see what I did there?), here are the funniest marriage memes on this here internets:
1. It’s all about give and take.
2. How many calories does it burn to fantasize about maybe having sex someday?
3. Good marriage tip: always agree on decor purchases ahead of time.
4. Remember honey, bend with your knees.
5. It’s not a competition, but it really is.
6. I want this kind of comfortable marriage.
7. Everything is where I said it was, learn that.
9. “Why aren’t you this romantic?”
95% of any Home Depot trip is spent trying to find my husband again.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 28, 2017
I feel like if I use my demon voice then it’s ok to interrupt the scary movie my husband is watching to ask him if he wants nachos.
— Wendy (@_wendyb07) November 6, 2017
I’m gonna need my husband to hurry up and finish his story so I can tell the same story but, like, a lot better.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) December 3, 2017
H: why is the heat turned up so high in here?
Me: so I can sleep with a fan on.
— she’s unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) December 1, 2017
A marriage built on respect and trust can survive anything. Except losing twice as much weight on a diet than your wife, apparently.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) December 4, 2017
Protip: If your wife asks you “How lazy can you be?” it’s a rhetorical question.
— Boyd’s Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) December 3, 2017
Me: I’m exhausted.
Husband: Didn’t you take a 2 hour nap?
Me: What do you mean by that?
— Jackie Bouvier (@jackiembouvier) February 16, 2016
Just put on fancy socks and a night shirt with no food stains so I can try to seduce my husband later.
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) January 23, 2016
Me: I spent HALF as much as YOU usually do on groceries.
[2 hours later]
Me: We have nothing to eat in this house.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 9, 2016
Husband: We should go to Costco.
Me [still in pajamas]: So I should change?
H: I said Costco, not Walmart.
Me:*puts on nicer pajamas*
— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) July 1, 2017
I didn’t even know it was possible to argue about a topic you agree on until I got married.
— not the WORST mom 🤔 (@nottheworstmom) November 28, 2017
I don’t know which is worse
1) My wife whistled for me to come downstairs
2) I did it
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 28, 2017
Marriage is essentially two people taking turns pushing down the top of the kitchen garbage so they don't have to take it out.
— Ian Mendes (@ian_mendes) May 20, 2016
My wife and I are tackling a home improvement project together.
Just thought I’d give you a heads up.
This is my last post as a married man.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 26, 2017
Me: *walking on the moon*
[text from wife]: Can you bring home some more milk?
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) November 18, 2017
the chicken in my wife’s spicy chicken burger was bigger than the bun while mine was smaller and I know ill bring it up in a future argument
— brent (@murrman5) August 27, 2017
For the first time in 16 years, I remembered where we keep the tape without having to ask my wife, so our marriage is going well right now.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 21, 2017
Wife: *asks question*
Me: *gives answer*
Wife: I’m looking it up on the internet…
— Boyd’s Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) November 20, 2017
Me – You almost ready?
Wife – Just a few more minutes. What time do we have to be there?
Me – Yesterday at 7.
— Dan R (@Social_Mime) June 21, 2017
Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 23, 2017
friend: What’s one thing marriage has taught you?
me: If you walk into the house eating a candy bar you better have one for her too
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 11, 2017
It’s so nice when my husband’s away that the dog can fill in as the loudest breather of the household.
— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) November 16, 2017
My wife is going to qualify for free shipping no matter how much it costs.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 28, 2017