Men Are Revealing The Hilariously Weird Things They Thought About The Female Anatomy

Men, it’s time to talk about women. I would, however, like to make it about us. So, let’s talk about what we used to think was true about women that turned out to be completely false. If nothing else, we’ll know that sex education in this country needs an overhaul. Still, the first step is admitting you have a problem. All of us have a problem with misconceptions when it comes to human anatomy. We’re here to correct that issue in the funniest way possible.

One brave soul on Reddit asked this question: “What funny things did you think about women’s anatomy before you learned the truth?” The men of r/askmen weren’t afraid to admit they knew nothing and took some pretty funny guesses.

On a related note, I knew a girl in high school who thought men’s testicles were in two fully separate sacks that clanked together like Newton’s cradle (those steel balls that clank together on a therapist’s desk in movies). Pretty funny stuff. Men still assume weirder things. Let’s find out what they are!

Here are the funniest things men once thought about the female anatomy before someone set them straight:

1. This is half right but also wrong.

“When I was a little kid I knew that girls didn’t have penises but I thought they still had balls.” –ilikemyface3

2. Prove to me that’s not what’s happening!

“I thought that a period was women just going to the toilet and peeing blood out. Perhaps multiple times during one day. Now I know that many women wish this were the case.” –Magisidae

3. Where do babies grow?

“Since adults constantly reference babies being “in moms tummy” and to get things in anyone’s tummy you have to eat them a logical conclusion for a three year old to arrive at is that moms eat tiny babies, baby grows and then will climb it’s way back up moms throat and out of her mouth when they are big enough.” –No_Owlcorns

4. A kid does his own research.

“When I was like 4 the older (and very unusual) neighbor girl climbed a tree and pissed from up there while I was out of the splash zone but below. To me it looked like she was pissing out of her asshole.” –Anxious_Honey_Badger

5. Let’s have a sitdown and talk.

“When I was a kid I thought it was weird girls used another bathroom and my mother told me girls pee sitting down so they use a different bathroom. Little me was then trying to figure out how girls sit on the urinal to pee and I remember thinking it must not be comfy.” –JPK12794

6. Innies and Outties.

“I have a sister so from a very young I was aware of the basic differences in male and female anatomy. Mostly, because I thought the like some people have an ‘in’ belly button and some people have an ‘out’ belly button a vagina was just a penis that had grown inwardly.” –noonereadsthisstuff

7. Wish no one had told me this when I was younger.

“i was only 9 at that time, my friend told me that people shit in different colours, that girls shit in colours such pink, yellow and all, he also claimed that he got the blue colour, i was just so devastated that i got the disgusting brown colour.” –hemusu

8. A grave concern.

“I thought that the vagina was front-facing. My erection stuck out forwards, and in softcore porn (this is before the days of internet porn) the man would be laying on top of the woman, so I thought the penis went directly in. So anytime I developed an interest in a girl, I’d kind of check out her side profile to make sure that if we had sex my penis wouldn’t poke through her back.” –WindJammer27

9. Is this… not the case?!??

“My husband thought women’s eggs only release by an orgasm – he didn’t realize it’s a monthly cycle. Lol!” –Nerual_Nodnarb

10. Good thing they were so close.

“My closest guy friend (I’m a girl) and I were hanging out after school one day. I said something that play poked fun at him and as a retort he flicked one of my boobs and said “there, now I just scrambled your eggs!” I had no idea what he was talking about so after I pressed him he admitted he thought that your ovaries and eggs were located in your boobs. We’d gone to the same school since kindergarten and at the time we were 16. I’ve never let him live it down since.” –TeHNyboR

11. At least they know what’s incorrect. The rest is just theory.

“When I was like 8 yr old I thought the doodle just rubbed against the girl and didn’t insert inside. Me and some class mates had a heated argument. Turns out they were right. I demanded to know how in which they didn’t have an answer – fuckin know it alls” –chookshit

12. Learning from chickens is a bad idea.

“My conservative bengali parents didn’t tell me shit about human reproduction. As a kid, I saw chickens lay eggs and assumed they shit the eggs out or something. That’s why I thought I got shit out when I was birthed, and that every woman or female shits their babies out. Who would’ve thought that vaginas existed.” –Jetzer2223

13. Knowing what words mean is also important.

“When I was a kid , I saw an interview of a lesbian couple that adopted a baby. At that time I had no idea what adoption was so my immature brain made a logical conclusion : women can have children together. They can also have children with men but men can’t have children with each other.

I believed that sincerely for years until sex-Ed in middle school. Quite the embarrassing memory by the way, the awkward silence was painful.” –Hanbarc12

14. The pad problem.

“Not quite anatomy. But my 33 year old boyfriend thought that you stuck pads to your skin. He was very confused when I tried to explain the sticky part goes on your panties.” –Daytripsinsidecars

15. Let’s hear one from the ladies.

“I thought once you get your period, you just have it forever, not once a month. I’m a woman. I was 12 and just accepted the fact that I will bleed out of my vagina all the time.” –AcceptableHuman0