Oh, Bill. You’re absolutely killing it. Are you a real person? Probably not. Should you be? Absolutely.
If you’ve ever participated in any of the dating apps, you know it’s mostly an awful experience. It’s not really the greatest display of humanity’s best and brightest. It’s so weird to see what people view as desirable about others and themselves. That’s why profiles like Bill’s are so refreshing.
1. Bill, you beautiful bastard.
2. Is “less than a mile away” a threat or a promise?
3. Bill, what are you going to do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?
4. We all do, Bill. We all do.
5. He got game.