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28 People Share The Dumbest Things They’ve Ever Heard Another Human Being Say

We’ve all said stupid things from time to time. Occasionally, though, we hear something someone else said that’s so dumb, and can’t believe our ears.

These moments are almost too good to be true. Thankfully, other people remembered what they heard and saw so that we could laugh at the strange things people have said.

A Reddit user asked a very important question: “What is the stupidest thing you have ever heard out of someone’s mouth?” The r/AskReddit community had answers.

Here are the funniest and weirdest responses to the question “What is the stupidest thing you have ever heard out of someone’s mouth?”:


1. How do they do it so well?

“My brother, 17 at the time, was impressed by actors dedication of dying for a movie.” –Slugees

2. Follow the science.

“My bother in law plastered baby oil all over his body and sat out in the sun for 2hrs. I told him he was going to get skin cancer. His response ‘I don’t believe in skin cancer.’ This is the guy who refuses to have a microwave in his house because ‘they are bad for you.'” –Cattangel63

3. If only humans were reptiles.

“After a work accident a co worker asked me, with a very serious face, would my finger grow back.” –r3deemd

4. The guy who’s never read a label before.

“We had a guy come in and accuse us of selling and charging him for 2 bottles worth of chocolate milk inside of one bottle when he only wanted “one serving”. I guess he thought it was a super large or something? (We only have one size, and it isn’t that big) His reasoning for thinking that? On the bottle of chocolate milk it says that a thoughtful serving is half the bottle, so he thought one bottle = 2 bottles of chocolate milk and he only wanted one.

I had to explain to this guy that a thoughtful portion was just a recommendation by Nestle that he only drink half the bottle because it’s healthier. And it’s not that there are two chocolate milk bottles in the one bottle he bought. Then he told us we should be less confusing, and then I had to explain to him that we do not own nestle and do not have a chocolate milk factory in the back of the shop where we make and produce the chocolate milk.

Then he said he no longer wanted it because he is “hearing now that it is not fresh” so he tried to get a refund on a half drunk chocolate milk and I had to explain to him that no, we can not do that. And then he left in a huff.” –Timothy_McEvoy

5. I didn’t inhale.

“At an old job we had balloons in the office leftover from a kids birthday party in the restaurant. A server comes in, and says ‘Oh Balloons!’ She then picked a balloon up OF THE GROUND, opened it, inhaled the air and said hello all excitedly. She then goes ‘Oh! Why didn’t it work?’ Her face when I explained to her that wasn’t helium she had just breathed in, but some Dad’s breath that’d been in the balloon for hours, was priceless.” –SergeantSGT

6. Look, I’m not a chemist!

“”Gold isn’t a metal because it isn’t magnetic.” -while working on an aluminum engine that he fully accepted as metal.” –Musketeer00

7. Planes also control the weather, so this makes sense.

“You won’t see any planes because it’s raining. Planes don’t fly when it’s raining.” –bpanio

8. Yeah, but who came out first?

“That I am technically not a twin because I was born 2 min earlier then my brother instead of exactly at the same time.” –TerraTrump

9. Don’t even try to tell me he wasn’t real. That’s the whole point of the story!

“On a tour bus in Italy. Tourist kept asking to see Pinocchio’s grave. Tour guide explained he wasn’t a real boy. Tourist again said, but where is he buried? He just wasn’t understanding.” –AlkahestGem

10. It makes sense if you don’t think about it at all.

“‘How do left handed people drive?’ -my sister

As she then proceeded to try and drive ‘left-footed.'” –thats_up_top

11. Must be true!

“‘Tampons have asbestos in them to make you bleed more so you need to buy more of them,’ from a girl at a bar, roughly 2003/2004. I just laughed and said “Where’d you hear that, on the internet?” as this was the era of chain emails and non-facts floating around online. Not surprisingly, yes, she did read it online.” –Alisaurusrex82

12. Natural selection.

“My uncle once said plastic isn’t bad for the environment because “it’s not like it’s not of the earth. Everything in it came from here” I responded with “same with nukes” and he changed the subject.” –Toll_House69

13. We gotta get these lazy ears into shape.

“I’m partially deaf. I’ve been partially deaf since I was 3 years old and I’ve been slowly but surely getting more deaf. I had a manager tell me I needed to “work harder” to get over my hearing loss, there was genuinely no concept of hearing loss being permanent in some cases and no amount of working harder would get rid of it.” –gothiclg

14. Wow.

“A woman I know adopted a baby from an Eastern European country. Someone who worked in our city’s education system said ‘But when she grows up, how will you understand what she’s saying?'” –Wisebutt98

15. Which came first, the egg or whatever eggs are made out of?

“‘What’s chicken made out of?’ -my dumbass of an older brother.” –TonyHawks_Watermelon