Personally, I’ve given up on ever being cool. I wish I could say that means others see my confidence and say “hey, that’s cool.” But, no. I’m “cheugy.” I’m basic. Just because I’ve accepted the truth doesn’t make me less of a dork. I am, however, no longer “trying too hard” and looking like a douchebag the way everyone is on the following list. If you’re a cool person reading this, understand that the day will come when you are no longer cool. Skinny jeans will be known as “dad jeans.” Run The Jewels will strictly be for men over 40. Your coolness will fade like Marty McFly in a family photo (ask your parents).
One person asked a simple question on Reddit, and thousands of people had an answer: “What do people think makes them look cool, but actually makes them look like a douchebag?”
Here are the best examples of things people do to seem cool but end up looking like idiots:
1. Not knowing how to joke.
“The line between joking and bullying can be a thin one, and a lot of douchebags either dont see it or they just dont care.” –TRA157
2. What year is it? Was this ever cool?
“Blasting music in public transportation without headphones.” –idontlikeflamingos
“Not to sound old and crabby but pranks used to be something everyone could laugh at and were harmless, like a sticky note on the bottom of your computer mouse. If scaring strangers gives you joy, you’re not a prankster, you need professional help.” –mrs_krokodile
4. These kids need to show some respect.
“Vandalizing rocks, trees, etc. in parks and nature preserves. It takes you out of the experience when you’re scanning a gorgeous landscape and your eyes land on ‘butthead + dingdong forever’ in bright colors.” –Clevercapybara
5. When you become part of the hive.
“Supporting a celebrity that doesn’t give a sh*t about your existence online to the extent of bullying and name calling people who don’t worship that celebrity.” –Reem-gazelle-2001
6. Who does this anymore?
“Picking on weird kids.” –YourRoyal_thighness
7. If being dumb is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
“Failing school does not inherently make you a douchebag, but bragging about it as if it’s something that is cool isn’t the best presentation of character either.” –Imnotnotnotabot
8. I decide who the real fans are!
“Gatekeeping a fandom or hobby. ‘You aren’t a real fan of XYZ band if you started listening to them after this album,’ ‘You’re not a real beer drinker if you don’t like IPAs.'” –02K30C1
9. I know something you don’t, though!
“The ones who don’t know how to get attention so they start gossiping about everyone. And I’m like I know your life is not interesting but please have some respect for others and for yourself.” –yourdaisy2
10. Climbing the ladder to success.
“I have a coworker who has the “gift of gab” and is very proud of his ability to give people false assurances while being extremely vague, essentially just bombarding them with words until they’re satisfied. It’s a useful trick, I suppose, but when you hear him do it in real time, you realize he’s just a very good liar.” –Primo_DeVito
11. That old chestnut.
“Being mean to serving staff.” –bhuvana_
12. Also manly to not drink anything.
“People who tease guys for drinking “girly drinks”. If a guy wants to drink a Strawberry Daiquiri let him drink it in peace.
You know what is manly? Drinking whatever the fuck you want without giving a shit what people think.” –garry4321
13. Bad idea since the very start.
“Using a cellphone in public on speaker.” –cryptoengineer
14. Hey, nerd. I like them too.
“Judging another person for their interests even if the other person’s interests don’t affect or hurt anyone else. The other day I had an acquaintance tell me how a friend of mine who likes to collect Funko Pops must be such a virgin even though the guy is literally married with a kid on the way.” –Flat_Weird_5398
15. Hey! This is a neighborhood!
“Driving around residential areas too fast in cars with really loud engines and those exhausts that go BANG BANG BANG all the time. They look like nothing other than inconsiderate arseholes.” –blackcurrantcat